Sometimes you have all the time in the world and you don’t know what to do with it. Other times you have everything to do in the world and no time to do it. Currently, I am in the former phase. I loved it – for a whole of 2 days! Now that it’s been 12, I am beginning to wonder if there ever was a phase when I didn’t have time to breathe. Believe me, there was! These days I sit and wonder (wow... that’s hard to come by :) ) what if we had all the time in the world, and we could do anything and everything that we wanted to, would we? If there was nothing beyond us, and nothing we could not achieve, could we?
Would we really do something about that broken chair, that has been broken for the past 6 months, and we thought we would fix 2 months back? Would we clean out that drawer that we know houses everything other than that one pin we need? Would we climb to the top of the tallest building in our locality and scream at the top of our lungs – “I love you ____”? Would we ever be able to accept the fact that we are as good as we can possibly get and maybe a little more? Would we walk barefoot on the grass in the park, just because we wanted to? You know, many of these things are not dependent on the time or the possibility of the event. It is just us who has to put our head together to get it done. I have a clock on my nightstand that ran out of battery – 3 months back. Almost every morning when I get up and see the clock, it dutifully displays the same time – 0535 hrs. Now, I wish I could tune my body to get up at this time, and make the life of the non-batteried (am not sure if that is even a word, but it sounds kinda cool) clock a little worthwhile. But as that doesn’t seem to be happening in the very near future, I might as well settle to buy some batteries and tune the clock to when I do actually get up! (If I kinda lost you there, I totally understand. :) ) But somehow, even that doesn’t seem to happening. Because if it did, it would have happened 3 months back… and I wouldn’t be writing this piece in the first place!
Procrastination is what they call it. I call it pure laziness :) (Never been a fan of big words.) But then that is too hard for us to admit, right? We?? Lazy?? No ways!! We watch TV, we sit around all day, we ride our bikes and cars, we go up to the 25th floor – in the lift!, we get our vitamins – from our 4th mug of beer. Do you know how stressful these things can get? And to do them over and over again - everyday! We need to go to a salon to de-stress. Lazy?? How can you even say that?? Of course we got the work done… when the 5th and final reminder came, of course we fixed the chair – when we sat on it without remembering it was broken and fell on our ass, and of course I changed the batteries on my nightstand clock…... I think!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Musical dreams ...
Ok... so I finally did it !!!! I finally 'bought' music :) Now, before you start asking questions as to what am I talking about, and what is this buying music thing, I guess I should let you in on some background. Now, from as long as I can remember, I have always been surrounded by music. I think I should rightfully thank my mother for this, for introducing me to this exquisite world while I was still snug and safe inside her. She has often told me how my Dad got a brand new SANYO 'tape-recorder' (imported from Dubai) a few weeks after I came into existence (still safe and snug). And as it always happens with a new thing, they were so excited that they got a bunch of tapes recorded (you know... all the favorite songs) and they would play it over and over again. With my dad off at work, my mom would usually finish her daily chores, send my sis to school, and then sit (with me) in the balcony and listen to the melodies from the tape-recorder. I guess she was just as proud of the fact that her husband got it (for her :)) as she was of the fact that she was relaxing with heaven in her ears, and me dancing around inside her belly :)
So, fast forward to 2 yrs, with me sitting on my swing and belting out 'Pillayaar, Pillayaar, Perumai Vazhyunda Pillayaar' (a song on Lord Ganesha) to the T, with the tape-recorder assisting me with the instrumentals. My mom always says that I was a prodigy (donno why she uses past-tense, I still like to think of myself as that sometimes :) ), and a musical genius (I love my mom :) ). So, to cut a long story short, I have always been into music, and like I was saying earlier, I have always felt at home when I am either listening to or singing something... anything! (FYI... I am also a very good singer... without ever having been to a music class. You should see my certificates, awards and medals :-) )
And somehow, I donno if I should categorize it as fortunate or unfortunate, but I have never purchased a music cassette or CD, till a few weeks back. Sounds weird, right? I mean, I would think it weird if someone was as fanatical of music as I was (and still am!) and never actually went to the store and got themselves the newest album or soundtrack. Honestly, I have never done that. Infact, during my school and college days, I would sit in front of the TV and record songs :) Yes, the tape-recorder served us faithfully for many a year. (I think it is still lying around somewhere in the attic back home.) I had a pretty good collection of my fav songs that I recorded from MTv and other 'cool' channels during that time :)
Also, I had people gift/give me cassettes and later on CDs. I was quite happy with whatever I had. Now, I have more to my collection ... thanks to the download era. So relatively speaking, I never actually chose to get a certain kind of music home just because I liked it and wanted to listen to it as much as possible. I listened to anything and everything and found my favorites among them. But recently, I was fortunate enough to come across some music that I had to have :) And I realized that I didn't want to wait for it to be up on the net, or 'borrow' from someone. I wanted to own it, in the same manner that I 'owned' all the music that I recorded in the tapes during my teenage years. So, I went ahead, took a bold step and got myself a copy of some real nice music I have heard in a long time. I got myself 'Saaral' :)
So, fast forward to 2 yrs, with me sitting on my swing and belting out 'Pillayaar, Pillayaar, Perumai Vazhyunda Pillayaar' (a song on Lord Ganesha) to the T, with the tape-recorder assisting me with the instrumentals. My mom always says that I was a prodigy (donno why she uses past-tense, I still like to think of myself as that sometimes :) ), and a musical genius (I love my mom :) ). So, to cut a long story short, I have always been into music, and like I was saying earlier, I have always felt at home when I am either listening to or singing something... anything! (FYI... I am also a very good singer... without ever having been to a music class. You should see my certificates, awards and medals :-) )
And somehow, I donno if I should categorize it as fortunate or unfortunate, but I have never purchased a music cassette or CD, till a few weeks back. Sounds weird, right? I mean, I would think it weird if someone was as fanatical of music as I was (and still am!) and never actually went to the store and got themselves the newest album or soundtrack. Honestly, I have never done that. Infact, during my school and college days, I would sit in front of the TV and record songs :) Yes, the tape-recorder served us faithfully for many a year. (I think it is still lying around somewhere in the attic back home.) I had a pretty good collection of my fav songs that I recorded from MTv and other 'cool' channels during that time :)
Also, I had people gift/give me cassettes and later on CDs. I was quite happy with whatever I had. Now, I have more to my collection ... thanks to the download era. So relatively speaking, I never actually chose to get a certain kind of music home just because I liked it and wanted to listen to it as much as possible. I listened to anything and everything and found my favorites among them. But recently, I was fortunate enough to come across some music that I had to have :) And I realized that I didn't want to wait for it to be up on the net, or 'borrow' from someone. I wanted to own it, in the same manner that I 'owned' all the music that I recorded in the tapes during my teenage years. So, I went ahead, took a bold step and got myself a copy of some real nice music I have heard in a long time. I got myself 'Saaral' :)
Saaral (www.saaral.in), which translated from Tamil, means Drizzle, is one heck of an effort that comprises the geniuses of Gopakumar, Sanjeev Phillip Thomas, and Benny Dayal. I am not much of a fan of Tamil music, but surprisingly I have been discovering some good songs and tunes. And, as I listen to one of my favorite songs in this album (Parvai Aazhkadalil), I am glad that this is the first music I 'brought home'. Soulful lyrics, amazing composition and strong vocals has made Saaral occupy a rightful place in that heart of mine. It also merits another extra teeny-tiny place, for the fact that Gops (Gopakumar) is a dear friend. But even otherwise, I think I would have loved Saaral for what it actually is - a sincere and honest effort that has invaded my musical space and is here to stay.
Saaral has 7 amazing tracks. Now, I am not an expert or anything (even though as per my mom, I was/am a prodigy), but I do know good music from bad (bad is probably a very nice word to use for some of the tunes being churned out these days :) ) and also maybe just how good a piece of music really is or could have been. So, below is my listing from the music of Saaral, music that I have immensely enjoyed over the past weeks.
1. Pavaye Nee - This is such an amazing song! Amorous lyrics... wonderful flute and tabla combination. And, to have Unnikrishnan sing it, is just heavenly! His voice and style is infectiously unique. I am so glad Gops got him to sing this beautiful piece. One of my absolute favorites.
2. Ethetho - Now this is what I call funky!! When I first listened to this song... it took a while for it to sink in. But then, I was hooked :) Catchy and melodious at the same time, techno, yet with a good vocal base, it sure grows on you. And, to hear Gops sing... not bad at all !! ;)
3. Vizhiyoram - Another lovely song. Beautiful lyrics! Has a wonderful earthy feel to it. Benny has done complete justice to this song :)
4. Ennil Endrum - Again, a funky number, I love the instrumental in the beginning of the track. I donno why.. but this track kinda makes me wish I was at a beach party :-D
5. Azhagal Kollai - Absolutely love the music in the beginning! Very well composed and executed. Benny's voice works its own magic.
6. Oru Party - Quite a different piece from the rest of the tracks. The thing that struck me in this track is Sanjeev's voice modulation. It's as if he has tuned his voice to match the music rather than the other way around. Not on my top list of favs, but a good song nonetheless.
7. Parvai Aazhkadalil - Unabashedly, this is my FAV song in the entire album. I kind of thought that I would be loyal to Pavaye Nee, but this kinda swept me off when I wasn't even looking :) Amazing lyrics (I can proudly say that I understand almost 85% of the lyrics... which is not bad at all :) ) and beautiful composition. It kinda has this new age charm to it without going overboard. From start to finish... I have only one word for this song ... Beautiful!
Now, if you are wondering why I have gone to such lengths (pun intended!) for after all, a music album... well, cause its not just a music album, it is Gops's music album (check the website to know about its genesis). A dream that he has nurtured and has seen fulfilled with his music breaking the inner world and daring to make a mark in the outer. We are all achievers, of course, in our own merits, but it does take courage to do something worthwhile, to make something intangible, to fulfil something more precious than life... to dream, and to practically watch it come true. Saaral is a piece of music ... a dreamy piece of music, for all those who want to make it out there... being someone.. something.....
Friday, October 17, 2008
That wonderful feeling...
I am sure that we all have in many times inour life felt emotions that were beyond compare. Those, that were so amazing that no words could express what we felt, and what we still feel today when we reminisce about them. Wonderful things aren't they? Memories! It is such a beautiful harbinger of a smile we sometimes forget we are even capable of :) I think I can without a doubt say that there is not one person on this earth who does not have memories... wonderful, pure, soulful memories of what they wanted to do in life, achieve in their dreams and live in their heart.
The other day something out of the blue made me remember something I had long thought forgotten. And believe me, the whole day I kept getting glimpses of what I thought I would never be. I never thought I would work my ass off sitting in front of a machine and doing something that I sometimes did not believe in. I never thought that I would live my life like a book whose every page was already blueprinted in the back of my mind, and if at all something was not supposed to be the way it should be, that I would have an eraser ready to wipe out all traces of the 'so called error'. I never thought that I would make myself believe that this was how I would try and make do with all the things that I could not go out there and achieve.. by writing a blog post about it :)
Isn't it funny how we think of things we feel we will never be, instead of knowing what we truly are? And to go ahead and make ourselves believe that... well that is just so smart isn't it? As I was saying earlier, when I remembered of the things that I thought I would never be, it suddenly hit me that I never thought of the things I 'would' be. I never conditioned myself to it. I never thought I would be good at school, I always thought I would not be. I never thought I would be famous, well... cause I thought I wouldn't. I never thought what I would write in my blog, cause I always thought I would never have one. Now, before you start thinking... what the hell is she talking about, let me ask you one thing. When was the last time you felt a wonderful feeling rip through your entire body? If it was on any other occasion other than the memory of something good... then you are in a league of your own. For other mere mortals, like me, we seldom have anything rip through us (with exceptions of fear and danger of street dogs hounding behind me!) When I ran through that day with a bombardment of 'memories', I felt that I had failed. Failed to see what I had with me, and chose to make these into memories that I could (if I remembered) live in the later stages of life.
That is when I decided that I don't need memories anymore, I need me and I need life... to live, to breathe, to exist... to be! I don't have to put people or relationships off... so that I can hold onto them for 'later'. Who knows when that later may come, if at all it does. I didn't want to lose out on experiences just because I 'thought' they were not worth my while. I didn't think that I should compromise on what life expected out of me... after all we only have one life to live :) I wanted to make sure that a few years down the line, I still have memories... that I used to have memories. Because at that point in time I want to be living them, rather than sitting on the porch with my arthritis reminiscing about them. And you know what... since I decided that, realized that, I have had a wonderful feeling ever since :)
The other day something out of the blue made me remember something I had long thought forgotten. And believe me, the whole day I kept getting glimpses of what I thought I would never be. I never thought I would work my ass off sitting in front of a machine and doing something that I sometimes did not believe in. I never thought that I would live my life like a book whose every page was already blueprinted in the back of my mind, and if at all something was not supposed to be the way it should be, that I would have an eraser ready to wipe out all traces of the 'so called error'. I never thought that I would make myself believe that this was how I would try and make do with all the things that I could not go out there and achieve.. by writing a blog post about it :)
Isn't it funny how we think of things we feel we will never be, instead of knowing what we truly are? And to go ahead and make ourselves believe that... well that is just so smart isn't it? As I was saying earlier, when I remembered of the things that I thought I would never be, it suddenly hit me that I never thought of the things I 'would' be. I never conditioned myself to it. I never thought I would be good at school, I always thought I would not be. I never thought I would be famous, well... cause I thought I wouldn't. I never thought what I would write in my blog, cause I always thought I would never have one. Now, before you start thinking... what the hell is she talking about, let me ask you one thing. When was the last time you felt a wonderful feeling rip through your entire body? If it was on any other occasion other than the memory of something good... then you are in a league of your own. For other mere mortals, like me, we seldom have anything rip through us (with exceptions of fear and danger of street dogs hounding behind me!) When I ran through that day with a bombardment of 'memories', I felt that I had failed. Failed to see what I had with me, and chose to make these into memories that I could (if I remembered) live in the later stages of life.
That is when I decided that I don't need memories anymore, I need me and I need life... to live, to breathe, to exist... to be! I don't have to put people or relationships off... so that I can hold onto them for 'later'. Who knows when that later may come, if at all it does. I didn't want to lose out on experiences just because I 'thought' they were not worth my while. I didn't think that I should compromise on what life expected out of me... after all we only have one life to live :) I wanted to make sure that a few years down the line, I still have memories... that I used to have memories. Because at that point in time I want to be living them, rather than sitting on the porch with my arthritis reminiscing about them. And you know what... since I decided that, realized that, I have had a wonderful feeling ever since :)
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