Tuesday, December 23, 2008


I sit here to write something interesting, thought provoking, fruitful, a literary piece of art! (literally!) But all I am stuck with is some kind of 'people' block. Ya, you heard me right! Oh how I wish, it was writer's block. I could probably put some words together and drive it away. But this... this is beyond me. So before it gets the best of me and makes me mentally unstable (ya rite! like that's gonna happen anytime soon :) ) lemme just get it out with.

I donno why, but lately I have been noticing people, a lot of people, and in almost every sense. When I was young, I was told it was impolite to stare. But in those odd events of someone staring at me, I stared back too. Maybe I was just trying to figure out what they were really staring at, and this scared the hell out of them, much to my pleasure. Of course, I try to avoid doing that now :) lest I wanna get beat up by them! But lately, some instances of bestowed wisdom has led me to politely 'look' and take a few notes of people around me. Even strangers for that matter. And after a few weeks of profound people looking... I am proud to say that I have made some amazing discoveries and found out answers to the questions I have long asked myself, the first of which is - Why are people the way they are?

I know its kinda rude to say this, but say I must - everyone (including you & me) is as smart or dumb as the other person. Just that sometimes there are exceptions to the degree of these qualities, with some possessing more of a thing than they require ;) I can safely say that I have come across an incredible collection of people - the smarty-panters, prouders, milders, walk-on-ers, irritaters, genuiners, fakers, lazers, inquisitors, butt-ers (pardon my French! :-D), dumb ass-ers, jokers, sincere-ers, eternal charmers, intelligenters, selfishers, cowarders and downright insaners! I know, I know, I am probably being disrespectful to people... by calling them the wrong names :) But I'm actually glad that I did this small exercise of mine, just out of curiosity and have found out something invaluable. Remember the question I asked earlier? Ya, you could probably trace the lineage of the dog on the street much faster than find the answer to that question:)

So why are people the way they are?? Cause they have nothing better to do than be that. You know, people are truly not what they make themselves out to be. You might ask - "You found that out now???" Ya well, sorry, I was a little slow on the uptake. Another thing that I found out was, how other people are fooled into thinking that someone is such and such when I can clearly see for what they really are, or even why they are what they are? No, no, I don't possess any special powers, but I think I can pride myself in possessing a pure heart, which might be the reason why I can see into people, or so I think :) The thing that really pisses me off is the audacity that such kind of people have to tell you that you are wrong and they are right. I used to get majorly pissed off in my initial days of meeting such people. An incident like this would ruin my whole day and keep me enraged. But now, I just let them think that they are right. I know better!

I used to think that being something other than what you really are is a bad thing to do. But lately, I have found that that is the only thing you can do, if you want to keep your identity (and sanity). I have always believed, that there is nothing in this world that someone cannot do. And this is one of them. There is no reason why you should not be yourself. But when putting your identity, your values, the things you hold sacred, on the sacrificial line, I would think that saving those are better than saving yourself. It may sound totally unethical and selfish (after all I am all for selfishness :)), but with people such as the ones I mentioned above, there is absolutely no way that you are going to be able to present the real you. So why bother? And for that matter, why even bother about them? They are probably doing the same thing to you.

If you feel that at least in knowing the people who really matter to us, we must invest that extra time and effort to find out who they are really are, rather than just believing what they portray, then maybe it makes sense. But the point here is how far are you willing to believe them and anyone for that matter. Especially those downright insaner types. How far are you willing to invest on them to really know them? And do you really want to?

Maybe this might be close to what I am trying to convey - "Know what I pray for? The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't and the incapacity to tell the difference." In case you're wondering, this comes from a 6-year old kid in a popular comic strip. Pretty neat, huh?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Selfishly Yours!

The other day, I was vagabonding on the net, trying to see if there was something that would interest me. I donno why, but the internet has never appealed to me. Sorry, but that's the truth. I know that this might make some people extremely angry (I can already think of a few names), but somehow I have never really been 'hooked' to the net as some people are. Yes, sometimes of course, it has been amazingly a convenient medium, helpful (those bills would have been a real pain, if I had to stand in a queue to pay them), has given me things I needed and wanted (like my songs/videos/blogs). But if there was something I could do without in my life, it might very well be the internet.

But the net is not what I want to talk about right now. As I was vagabonding, I discovered a site to download music (yippee, another one bites the dust!) and found some songs that I had long forgotten. Of course I downloaded them, just for old times sake. As I listened to them, believe me, I felt like I was reliving everything that happened at the time these songs were out. It's amazing how music can transport us to long forgotten times and places, and bring back memories we never knew we stored in that fuzzy brain of ours. And in that playlist, up comes this song - "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself". I'm sure that some of you might remember the song - it also features in the soundtrack for the movie - My Best Friend's
Wedding. For those who don't know the song, here's a snippet. It's about a lady singing that she doesn't know what to do with herself, now that her love has gone in search of another and that she's always made plans for two, and nothing seems good anymore, and that she will be waiting if he ever decides to come back. Phew!

At one point in time, I actually liked this song. I felt that the lyrics were soulful, it evoked the empathy/sympathy that one needs to shower at someone feeling so down... it kinda sense. But now as I sit listening to it, for probably the 5th time since I downloaded it, I don't know why, it just doesn't make sense anymore! And that kinda surprises me. I thought it would always make sense. Guess I was wrong! Maybe things just changed for me to think that it would always make sense. From thinking that it was justified, I am now of the opinion that people can be really dumb!.... errr..... in love :) I mean who in their right mind would say -
"Baby if your new love, ever lets you down, come back, I will be around, just waiting for you."Yes, I do understand that this is someone who is very desperate and really does not know what to do with themselves. Maybe they should get a haircut! But seriously, does someone say that in today's times? Yes, again, I do understand and realize that some ppl mite :) Maybe they didn't try the haircut after all ;)

Anyways, the more I listened to it, the more the song began to irritate me, and I realized that I was not that person anymore who could find justification in that song. And you know what? I was OK with that! Personally, I am not a 'change' person. I don't like change, routine is my best friend :) But lately I have understood, that what I detested... has actually become my ally now. Change is my new best friend. And you know why? Because I decided to be selfish! Yes... you heard me right... selfish. Yup! That's the new me. And that is exactly why the song does not make sense to me anymore. Because if the lady was clever (read selfish) enough to understand what was going on, she would have left the idiot long before he left her. And she would have better things to do in life than sit and brood and sing that dumb song. That is precisely why I decided to turn selfish (now... don't jump to conclusions. No one left me :) ). Because I have better things to do in 'my life'. Because it is my life, and no one else's. No one is gonna come and tell me what to do, how and when to do it, why to do it. So why bother waiting or thinking they should? Why not take charge of something only you can make happen. Ya ya... being selfish is not something that our proud parents taught us about, and I am glad they
didn't. I figured this out all by myself.

"You don't get things unless you make them happen,
things don't happen unless you want them to, and you won't want them to unless you think about yourself sometimes!"

Try it. Believe me, it works!!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Responsible Lives

Yesterday I was speaking, rather chatting, with one of my friends from college. It always makes me feel good when I connect to people who ‘were’ in my life and I strive to keep them alive :) every now and then. The initial Hellos, Whatcha been doing and Hows life, led to more conversant, interesting and somewhat serious topics. The prevailing insecure life in our country (Right! Tell me something I don’t know!), how unsafe our lives are, how terribly frightened we are and should be! How selfish and money minded the politicos are (is there anyone who doesn’t already know that?), how things will never improve, how everyone will die a sad and sorry death someday. You really think we are all going to be dancing in glee when the D-day (death day) comes. Man! With all this prevailing insecurity and unhappiness, don’t you wish we would?

And like I do most of the times, I tried to get to the bottom of why he was being so pessimistic. I mean, ‘I’ am pessimistic, so I know how that works! Whenever something is important to me I try to expect the worse that can happen, and then some more. That keeps me busy while the thing turns out to be quite alright, which on the other hand, had I given it its due importance, would have turned out to be a complete mess. Now, I know that reverse psychology is not everyone’s cup of tea. But it's pretty amazing when you want to get something done that you thought was nearly impossible.

So why and what am I blabbering? I am not for or against the politicos, the environment, the people who want to save dams or the forests or melting glaciers, the people who want to put a bullet through your head for seemingly no reason, the builder who wants you to vacate so that he can build a 20 storey building, the boss who never said a kind word to you, or the one who showers you unwanted attention all the time. I read somewhere – “If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don't care nothing matters so you are never upset.” A part of me would say… "Whoa!!! That about sums it all up!" Another part of me says – "How can you not care about something in life, are you not human?" Well, with all the seemingly wonderful things happening in the world, let alone the country, you might want to rethink that.

As I was chatting with my friend, I realized that it is not about the blame game anymore. It is about the incapacity of people to realize that things are not the same anymore. If we know that politicians are not going to get the job done, why do ‘we’ put them up there? If we know that the secure lives that we are dreaming about, is not all that secure after all, what are ‘we’ doing about it? We want everyone else to take responsibility about what has happened/will happen. When will we take responsibility of our lives? Why is it that we fall into this trap all the time? Are we hoping that our fall each time will be different, better than the earlier one? There was a time when we could care less; we still do. But the fact remains that even that is not making a difference. So the real question is – what will?