tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87605526065713486562024-03-19T06:02:50.731-07:00A Beautiful GenesisPreethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-74510602856735462982010-04-11T23:58:00.000-07:002010-04-14T22:21:42.356-07:00It's never enoughIt's all you will ever need,<br />It's all you might ever bleed,<br />It's all you would even try<br />It's all you ever tried to hide,<br /><br />Every path you tread,<br />Every word you said,<br />Every heart you lost,<br />Every pride that cost,<br /><br />It's every day all over again,<br />It's every emotion you left to drain,<br />It's every dream you made to break,<br />It's every fear you had to shake,<br /><br />But even when you know you've been through it all,<br />You'll never know what you don't,<br />Until you fly the seas high and rough,<br />'Cause even when it is, it's never enough...Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-66990662319066386682009-10-28T04:38:00.001-07:002009-10-28T21:15:34.714-07:00Liberate yourself, Move on!I have often wondered if there was a standard, universal way of moving on. You know, like get Windows 7, now that you know Vista sucks! Just install the brilliant thing and voila! You have a brand new 'something' to look forward to. You have officially moved on. Moving on is not hard to do in the material world that we live in. Here today, gone tomorrow is the norm. In fact, it's more of - was there yesterday, you missed it by today, and you don’t even know it existed tomorrow.<br /><br />But what about the other world that we live in - the one with all the bubbles of laughter, the pungency of pain, the sunlight of beautiful memories, the rain of sorrow? Did they invent a new software or operating system to wipe off the old, to ring in the new for these things? (Oh… personally I do believe they did – it’s called Hope <make your="" own="" version=""> :) ) No matter how materialistically superior we get, we self-inflictingly make sure that we do nothing to churn out things that help us intellectually, spiritually or emotionally.<br /><br />I did something yesterday that I never, ever, thought I would do! I deleted all the songs from my iPod playlist. Now what does that have to do with intellect, spirit, and emotion? Everything, I say! You see, I saw myself in a never ending chain of the songs (even though they are brilliantly beautiful), the genre, and insight that my playlist presented. I ‘became’ the songs. Everyday, I would listen to the same songs - literally. There were, of course, a few exceptional songs that I could listen to again and again and again. And recently, I came across a few different kind of songs (these are really good ones too) that I felt had the immense potential to earn their status inside my playlist. I had added them in and was almost about to click Autofill on my iTunes window when the thought struck me. Do I want to be able to never find my new found good-and-going-to-be-great songs, in the sea of my really awesome, but more-or-less abused old ones? Or should I rather take the leap and make another sea of awesome songs that I can carry proudly with me for another couple of months? I decided to take the leap – I did a Ctrl+A on my playlist items and hit Delete.<br /><br />You have no idea how liberating, how very alleviating, and non cataclysmical it was. The moment I put in my new genre of songs (how long do you think I could bear to see the list empty anyways :) ) I knew that I was on my way. I didn’t leave anything behind, I just moved forward. And it felt good!<br /></make>Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-76842347413881326912009-10-12T04:56:00.000-07:002009-10-12T04:59:43.232-07:00Top 10 ways to live...Found this randomly while searching my brains out on the net.... thought it was interesting.<br /><br />Top 10 ways to live...<br /><br />1. Stop thinking that you know what is good for you.<br />2. Stop believing what you know is right.<br />3. Lie. It is the only way you can save your ass.<br />4. Stop having fun. You are not entitled to that anymore.<br />5. Learn to fake. It is the only way to be believable.<br />6. Never speak your mind, least you speak the truth.<br />7. Believe you are a nobody.<br />8. Stop doing things you like. You need to find things you don't like and fake it like you like them.<br />9. Surrender to the fact that you are not smart, even though you know otherwise.<br />10. Forget what you were and will be. The way you're going now, you wont be either.Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-18720284518941012332009-09-18T04:19:00.000-07:002009-09-18T04:30:25.049-07:00Nays & Ayes<span style="font-style: italic;">Will you please someone you don't like,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Can you kill the one you would die for,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Should you make a world you cannot live in,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Must you say things you don't mean,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Is it correct to lie to hide the truth,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">When it is the truth that can set you free,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Will it be easy to suffer the pain,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">So that you can come back to sanity,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">How many times will you walk down the same path,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">When you know it leads to where you don't want to be,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Will you ever find out what you are all about,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">When you are trying hard to be someone you're not,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Could it be real if you lived in a dream,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Would the sky fall down if you willed it,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Can you undo what is already done,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">How do you give up something that wasn't yours,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Is it fair to say, "I can do it all",</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">When you know you cannot,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Can you start all over when you're at the end,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Does the sun rise to bid the night farewell,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Should you hope that you'll make it through,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Is it certain tomorrow will be anew,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">For all the things that are not, there are things that are,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Not matter where you are, you're not that far......</span>Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-29348609358466030662009-09-17T02:11:00.000-07:002009-09-17T02:27:01.247-07:00A higher purposeIf there was something that I think about almost everyday of my life, something that is very close to what I believe in, it would be – what is my purpose in life? You might say that everyone has been put on this earth for a reason – I won’t deny that. Everyone has their role to play – absolutely! Each one of us must find their place in life – quite possible in relative terms. Each of us has a purpose in life – eh? What was that again? Purpose, you say. Funny, I was kinda thinking on those same lines :)<br /><br />The moment I ask myself the above question, a series of things hit me. I have the purpose of being a good person, a noble human being, lead a honest life, love everyone I can (and needn't love the ones I simply cannot!), treat others with respect, live a full life, never be regretful of/for anything I have or missed having, be appreciative, confident, etc. etc. etc… the list just goes on and on and on. Other times when I asked myself the same question, I get one standard answer – "you have a higher purpose in life". And I must admit that I prefer the latter answer to the former, maybe because I have only one thought to deal with rather than a thousand others. Or maybe because it is left up to me to decide what that higher purpose should be and not something that is confined to already designed roles and responsibilities. And also because it means there is something higher = better, on the way up there.<br /><br />Now, some of us are lucky to be well on our way to the fulfillment of that purpose or like other ordinary people like me, are struggling to understand what that purpose is in order to achieve it. I started reading this book that delves more into understanding not what people are or what they are like, but where they come from. Since I started reading it, I haven’t been able to put it down; it's THAT good! Everything that is written makes sense. And not just sense, it’s like a wholesome movie playing perfectly where I can see myself in bits and parts. If we thought that those lucky people who were on their way to achieving their higher purpose were lucky, that’s just partly the answer. They were blessed with opportunities to be able to put their wheels in motion.<br /><br />Right from my childhood, to this day, my parents have always blessed my sister and me with the courage to put our wheels in motion. I can very well say that I am what I am today because of my parents, especially my dad. He always encouraged us to be what we wanted to be, whatever we could be – the best always. He never said – "be this, be that". He always said – "who says you can’t be this/that?" And that's why I won’t say or believe that I was not blessed with the opportunities to be on the path to achieving my higher purpose. I am blessed because I know I have a higher purpose and it can be whatever I want it to be. I know that what I achieve today is something that I need to - for now. But for later, there is something better at the end of that line. And when I get there, it won’t be my higher purpose, it will be my only!Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-1152933020845569102009-09-15T02:34:00.000-07:002009-09-15T02:50:40.608-07:00Cross my heart and hope to die…Oh, I don’t intend to die on a cross or anything. I was just trying to think of a heading that would somehow make me conjure up something on those lines to write about. But since nothing seems to be coming out of that seemingly blank brain of mine (is it just me, or are we getting a little dumber each day? Hmmm… I think it’s just me!), I’ll just try to hover around hoping some brainwave will hit me… like those flights that have to hover around in airspace till they get the signal to land. So what can I possibly hover about? Well well …. lemme think….. still thinking….. still thinking…. thinking……………………………… Oh, forget it! Lemme do what I do best. Lament on something that I can’t do, something that I used to be good at or some inane trait that I find starting to get fainter everyday till I can no longer remember what it was all about.<br /><br />Wow… that was one really good summarization of what my ‘usual’ thoughts are all about. Off late I have been thinking (no… not the hovering around thinking, but something that makes sense) if we don’t do the usual bit that we do everyday, what would we do? Especially with someone who likes routine as much as I do, can I even imagine to do something out of the usual? I may have touched upon such a thought in the past, but maybe my trail of thoughts then was for some other destination. And now that I am in this trail, let me see if I can see it through to its rightful journey.<br /><br />So what I have been thinking about is something like this – if we did everything by the book, let things come as they may and take things as they come, are we being sane and playing the game the way it should be played? Or are we just plain lazy to get off our ass and do what is right? I was recently talking to someone I care a great deal about, and the topic varied from this and that and like it usually does.. started to proceed towards trying to know what they thought of you and vice versa. The advice I got was that I need to get out of things that are really worrying me, that are ‘rutting’ me in. I couldn’t agree more! Bring it on! – the truckload of happy thoughts, the optimism, the energy, the wisdom and any other superlative adjective of an emotion there is to get me out of my misery of pessimism, inertia, disappointments, and plain old laziness. Well, somethings are better left said than done! Not that I haven’t tried it… I have tried being out of the ordinary, out of routine, ‘spontaneous’ – that’s the word. And in being so, when things haven’t gone horribly wrong, I must say that I have enjoyed it! But then what? If you were spontaneous all the time, wouldn’t that become routine, wouldn’t that become over a period of time – boring? Oh… I get it! You need to keep switching between being boring and out of ordinary. eh? Man, don’t they have simpler solutions for these kind problems anymore?!<br /><br />And what I am really trying to understand here is why is it that we are not ready to be who we really are – anytime or all the time?. Why don’t we want to yell out that we are the best at what we do, even when we know that everyone else knows that and they just won’t accept it? Why can’t we tell our best friend that we hate the way they do their hair, thinking we don’t want to upset them or be rude to them? Why is it that we can’t make up our mind about the 10 different varieties of coffee at the coffee shop, especially when what we really want is just a cup of black coffee? Spontaneity is only worth it when we go for it and come back feeling all goody goody about it, not when we fall face down to the ground and have to grope in the dark for a hand to pick us up. Ya… I know that was the meanest bit of pessimism that I can probably bring on at this point in time.<br /><br />I like asking questions, even when I know what kind of answer I will get. And especially when I know that I will not be satisfied with that answer. Through many of my earlier articles I have kept asking different kinds of things, not to anyone in particular, but to make sure I get out all the questions that I know I already have the answers to. So, what do you do when you find that you know the answers to the questions you never asked yourself? I swear this will be the last of the questions I ask for a long time – cross my heart and hope to die :) Or do I?Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-49868154232617052682009-08-25T23:56:00.000-07:002009-08-26T01:19:33.220-07:00What are you?When it hits you hard, do you curl up and cry?<br />Make a sigh saying that it’s all you've got,<br /><br />When you fall down, do you stay where you are?<br />Hoping someone will pick you back up,<br /><br />When you tell a lie, do you wish for it to be true?<br />So that no one would know you told the untruth,<br /><br />When everything goes blank, do you think you are blind?<br />Or are just waiting for the lids to open the blink,<br /><br />When nothing makes sense, do you go insane?<br />Thinking you can't take the risk, the pain,<br /><br />When you lose everything you dreamed of, do you kill yourself to live?<br />Eventually falling asleep only to die,<br /><br />When you trust no one but yourself, do you try to be selfish?<br />Or just end up acting worldly wise for others,<br /><br />When you cover and cram into every nook and cranny you find,<br />Are you waiting for the earth to swallow you into its vastness?<br /><br />If taking the other way out is all you ever did,<br />Will you ever walk your own path?<br /><br />Or are you on it already, making the world think it's the smart one,<br />Maybe that is who you are, not what you became,<br />The one who knows the right from the wrong,<br />The one who knows which tune sings the song…Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-4279016272786676892009-06-03T04:21:00.000-07:002009-06-03T04:35:56.238-07:00Jamie's Garden<div>Jamie was a little girl,</div><div>Sweet as an angel, pretty as pearl,</div><div>She had a world of her own,</div><div>A sweet little garden unknown,</div><div><br /></div><div>Every flower in her garden was a work of art,</div><div>She nurtured them with her soul,</div><div>Cared for them with her heart,</div><div><br /></div><div>Each flower was an emotion,</div><div>For all the times to come,</div><div>You could pluck any you wanted,</div><div>Without fear, undaunted,</div><div><br /></div><div>But for every flower you plucked,</div><div>You had two choices,</div><div>You could nourish it like she did,</div><div>Or watch it wallow away, languid.</div><div><br /></div><div>There were daisies for patience.</div><div>Roses for anger,</div><div>Chrysanthemums for peace,</div><div>Orchids for hunger,</div><div><br /></div><div>Poinsettias were for love,</div><div>Tulips looked up for hope,</div><div>There were also some lilies for jealousy,</div><div>Down by the snowy slope,</div><div><br /></div><div>One day, came along a bee,</div><div>Asked – “Could you tell me the flower for joy?”</div><div>Jamie looked around and said,</div><div>“There is none, go on, fly by”,</div><div><br /></div><div>Said the bee as he left,</div><div>“Then I will come on the morrow,</div><div>Surely you have flowers for sorrow”,</div><div><br /></div><div>Said Jamie to the bee,</div><div>“You don’t need those emotions to bloom you see,</div><div>If you choose your honey wise,</div><div>You won’t have to pay the price,</div><div>You can drink from the ones that are beautiful, or those that disgust,</div><div>Emotions or flowers... it’s your choice, and choose you must!”</div>Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-5455724183866503972009-04-25T06:13:00.000-07:002009-04-25T06:30:59.281-07:00Let go!<span style="font-style: italic;">Drink up, baby down</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">mmm, are you in or are you out</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">leave your things behind</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">'cause it's all going off without you</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">these mishaps</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">you bubble wrap</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">when you've no idea what you're like</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">so let go, jump in</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">oh well, whatcha waiting for</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">it's alright</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">'cause there's beauty in the breakdown</span><br /><br /><br />These are the words from one of my favorite songs, from a band called Frou Frou, a song that I found quite accidentally. Maybe in the same accidental fashion of me having this sudden urge to listen to this song as I write this piece. Every time I listen to this song, personally, it makes sense of many levels. And I wanna accept each of those levels, analyze it, feel it completely and then do exactly what it says …. let go! How I wish I could do that! Just let go. Of what you may ask. True, if you don’t know what you want or need to let go, you will continue to think that you need it in your life or in your world. We all have things we don’t need, but keep hanging onto. We all have people we can do without, but keep in our ‘circle of humans’, we all have far too many clothes to wear in a day, far too many expletives that we can exhaust of….maybe even far too much love to share?<br /><br />Lately there has been some change in the way I’ve been processing things. I’m not much of someone who thinks of things as black and white (I sometimes wish I were, maybe life would be not so much of a pain in the ass then!). I tend to gray things out, maybe on purpose, so that I can still keep harping about them on some level. So that I don’t have to think that they are out of my purview and out of my world. Makes you feel like you have something to do, doesn’t it? You can have everything you need this way and not be rid of it, even if you didn’t really need it. But is there any use of that? I guess that is what my brain has started processing lately. What is the use of all those memories that we keep, all those emotions we share, all those people that we don’t love, but would love to hate, all those numbers in the phone book that we’re never gonna call. I bet that if I called everyone I knew on that phone book only 20% would even remember or acknowledge me. So there you go! What is the use of me being me?<br /><br />It sounds quite surreal, but when you know the difference between what you need and what you want, you will have more things in life to chuck out than want to chuck in. I don’t know if it happens to me on purpose or if it’s just fate, but I have always noticed that there is an undeniable pattern in my life to balance out what I need and what I want. I’ve seem it come true with many things – the kind of work I do, the people in my life, (especially the people in my life :) ), the emotions I go through, the turn of events that take place… everything. I've tried hard not to pay attention to it, thinking that that is just the universe working out. And yes, it is the universe working (just imagine if it works out so much for me, what great shape it must stay in by working out for all of us ;) ). And like it always happens, I have to give up something for something to come in. Ok Ok …. I can almost hear you say it… what else did you think balance was? I never had a problem with giving up things… maybe because most of the things I gave up, I didn’t need them after all. I do realize that every individual must do this for themselves, and by themselves. The only catch here is how do u make it such that you don’t feel bad about it or just a little bit devastated, rather than the fall flat on the floor and hope to die feeling that you get when u really have to chuck something out, even if it may be those pretty little sandals that you've preserved from when you were 10 yrs old!<br /><br />And what about those things that you really do need, even though u take them for granted almost every minute of your life, but would die if you had to give them up. How do you let go of those things, those people, those memories, those dreams that you built, knowing they would never come true, but still want to display proudly on the mantle of your heart? As I try to put across something that probably might take eons to make sense, I know at this very point… as I write… that there is something on the anvil that I have to let go….. that I have to get used to being without. I don’t know what it is….yet! Don’t you just hate that? When you’re all done and jazzed enough to face the crap… you don’t even know what the crap is! The part I hate the most if this dull feeling that you keep sensing all the time. I mean it just won’t go away. No matter how hard you wish for it to just dawn on you... even hit you smack on the face... it doesn’t - at least not until it is supposed to. And all this time goes in analyzing whether you really want to let go of whatever it is you don’t even know. Would it work if I could bargain to keep something I think I need, by giving up something I don’t know I want? Or should I just follow my heart, be strong and embrace the <span style="font-style: italic;">beauty in the breakdown</span>?Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-77647842678797414842009-04-09T03:58:00.000-07:002009-04-09T04:03:28.676-07:00You :)I thought I knew the answers,<br />To all my questions,<br />I thought I knew the signs,<br />Of all my prayers,<br /><br />I felt I knew what I wanted,<br />Even when I didn't,<br />I felt I was loved,<br />Even when I wasn't,<br /><br />I wanted to make each day the best,<br />Take what's now, leave the rest,<br />I wanted to hold on too,<br />Of moments with you, however few,<br /><br />I did what I knew by far,<br />Did I leave the door a bit too ajar?<br />I did what I believed was right,<br />And it was...is... in every light,<br /><br />With you I grow higher,<br />In your presence, I stand taller,<br />Looking at you, I am calmer,<br />In you, I am safer,<br /><br />I know who you are and why,<br />It's not for me to belie,<br />To have loved me as I am,<br />No mock-ups, no scam,<br /><br />And I know you know me too,<br />To have felt the same for you!Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-70012943448349186702009-04-02T23:25:00.000-07:002009-04-02T23:38:20.935-07:00Changing ColorsIt's amazing to see humans change colors. Yes, you heard me right. We would actually put a chameleon to shame with our ability to adapt and become one with the environment. Now if only this would help both us and the environment, it would be an ideal story. But what if this helps neither us and in turn doesn't even give importance to the environment. Such was an incident, rather turn of events that I recently came across. What fuels my brain usually are events that would otherwise be ordinary, but somehow get turned into a mammoth crisis or get sparked into being an uneventful event.<br /><br />So coming back to this 'event', a few days back there was a certain plan that we had made. Everything was more or less set, only the execution remained. And as it always happens in my life, there has to be something that comes along to ruin it. Now, whenever I make a plan, I always make sure that I pay more attention to how it can go wrong than go right. That way I am as prepared as possible to face the 'ruiner' head on, and sometimes still see my plan travel towards the end of the tunnel. The ruiner in this case was someone close who made some sort of comment and suggestion (maybe they had their own reasons to do it; if they had kept their mouth shut... I would have still continued to like them) to try their luck - to ruin our plan of course! And it kinda worked... aarrrgggghhh! For a whole day I mulled, sulked, and positively felt so disappointed that I thought the world might as well end. But day before yesterday, there was another twist of events that happened for the ruin to be averted or more aptly 'reverted'. Now I find, that the ruiner is fine with our plan and in fact can't do anything more to ruin it because the new set of events overrules it. Wow! Talk about the universe making things happen for you.<br /><br />Am I now happy that I can go ahead with my plan as was intended? Yes, but the truth is I would have loved to have been spared of that one awful day thinking that it was all over. I can be all philosophical and ask - why me? But the question I want to ask is - why the hell do people think that they have a say in your life, when they don't even know how to live their own? And how is it that they seamlessly integrate into the new set of events when they come to know that there is no more damage that they can do. And on top of that pretend that they meant the best for u! The more I think about this, the more my blood boils and spills up into my brain that till now thought that being cool was more like it. If I had been my usual self, I would have made sure that no one, especially that person occupy such a position of 'influence', and would have straightened them out. But sadly, I realized long ago that being one's own true self should be reserved only for one's own self, and not for the world. That is when I decided that any person would get only the amount of importance that <span style="font-style: italic;">I think </span>they deserve and not what they actually deserve. Because after all you are what you portray yourself to be, right?<br /><br />Every time I find such incidents, it amuses me to find how people change colors and become completely something they are not. I tried to do it myself, believe me! I tried to even learn some tricks of the trade from observing such people. But I still don't get why I cant do it right. Maybe there is some nerve in that stupid brain and maybe heart of mine that can never change who I truly am, even for the world outside. I must say that I have adapted certain patterns which may make my life easier, but becoming something akin to a chameleon, is too far fetched for me. I would rather be the whale that knows how to swim in the deep seas by himself than the small fish that 'thinks' it can swallow the whale and swim just as deep.<br />Go swallow your own **** :)Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-8745562798661345942009-04-02T07:11:00.000-07:002009-04-02T07:13:16.149-07:00What I don't getI dwell a lot, mull a lot,<br />I try to remember what I forgot,<br />But still I don’t get it!<br /><br />I think twice, always try to be nice,<br />Even when I know what's my vice,<br />But still I don’t get it!<br /><br />I imbibe what I can, try to take my stand,<br />Amongst all the wind to blow my can,<br />But still I don’t get it!<br /><br />I wake to ponder, of the days of yonder,<br />Sashaying, levitating, an eerie saunter,<br />But still I don’t get it!<br /><br />I hope to make true, all the things I started new,<br />Even when I feel they are but few,<br />But still I don’t get it!<br /><br />I dig my root, snatching away my loot,<br />For once I am proud to be a brute,<br />But still I don’t get it!<br /><br />I know I can’t have it all, to gravitate my fall,<br />Nor did I wish to be so small,<br />But still I don’t get it!<br /><br />What I don’t get, I make up for,<br />But what about the things I do get?<br />Shall I free them into the world?<br />To fly the skies as high as the highest bird,<br />Or shall I pray, to make them stay, to regret those I forget,<br /><br />Do I wait for my turn, make mistakes to learn,<br />Do I take pride, in my gait, my stride?<br />Or may I ease the life through my fingers,<br />To take its own, to stagnate, to linger,<br /><br />The more I don’t get it, the more I do,<br />Because all I need to ask are the questions,<br />For the answers I already knew!Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-80876494631257568542009-03-13T06:03:00.000-07:002009-03-13T06:06:33.554-07:00Random<span style="font-style: italic;">They say you can't have everything in life,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">If you want the fruit, you have to take the strife,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">They say you can't be everything you want to be,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">If you want to swim, you have to brave the sea,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">They say you won't get all you desire,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">But even gold comes molded from the fire,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">They say you can't wish for all,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">If you want to fly, you have to take the fall,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">If I could count all the things that we can't do,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I would be in minds two,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Cause I would not know whom to herald more,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The one who never touched the sky, </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Or the one who never knew it was blue!</span>Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-9552311827747147182009-02-18T00:28:00.000-08:002009-02-18T00:29:27.998-08:00Is lying not telling the truth?What is the difference between lying and not telling the truth? I used to think that both are the same, but I recently found out that they are not. Lying involves masking the truth by saying something that isn't true or is relatively close but not completely. Not telling the truth can be as simple as keeping mum or spinning a story totally out of context, one that is nowhere near the truth. Am I correct in my understanding? Maybe, Maybe not. As much as I would like to get to the bottom of this, somehow it seems like a never ending well. I am not very good at lying and at not telling the truth. Anything and everything I feel inside usually comes out through my face. Now some might say this is good… me being a true soul and all ;) But more often than not this has always acted to my detriment. And this recent situation was no different. I found myself ‘lying’ for apparently no reason at all. I could have told the truth, but something inside me told me to deny it… to mask it… to not let it come out !! I seriously donno why I did that… but there was so many voices inside me that collectively all I could hear was ‘don’t let the truth come out’.<br /><br />I don’t think lying is a crime or a sin or anything wrongful. Yes, it is something we should avoid and restrain ourselves from doing because it is not very often that we feel good about it. But, yes, sometimes we do have to lie – for ourselves, for others, to set things right, to make someone feel better. So do these situations qualify as situations for not telling the truth? Should we hold a husband's response of "Of course not, honey!" to his wife's "Do I look fat in this dress?" as lying? I donno. The demarcation is still so vague and immeasurable that it kind of makes me feel very uncomfortable. There was a time when I never used to lie… never! Somehow that time doesn’t exist anymore… that same me doesn’t exist anymore. That doesn’t mean that I lie to make my world fall in place, but the fact that I even do is something out of the ordinary.<br /><br />When I think about all the situations where I could have done something about not telling the truth or having lied, I do feel a tinge of disappointment, at myself, for having resorted to something I never thought I would. But I have realized that the world is not what it used to be. And we cannot be what we planned out to, unless we care a damn about any and every one who stands to correct us. I would gladly do that (care a damn, I mean), but I feel that before I do, I should rest my ass on firm ground so that even if I have to fall back, I have something to fall onto, instead of the never ending hole of losing oneself.<br /><br />Gibberish? Yes :) I don’t lie to myself to make me feel better ;)Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-71509825542211411322009-02-06T03:40:00.000-08:002009-02-09T03:07:28.966-08:00You can have everything!Why is that we think we can’t have all we want and then some more? I know it might sound a stupid question for those unimaginably perfect souls who would love to disagree with me. And I am not one who cribs and cries every time something does not go as planned (even though I have done that a couple of times :)) But generally, is it just us or the entire universe that conspires against us for not making an absolutely perfect time last forever? All that crap about happiness and sadness, day and night, joy and sorrow and any other euphemism as being the 2 sides of the same coin, seems to be a whole bunch of pessimistic talk.<br /><br />There was a ‘era’ when I believed in all of this…. you know, the lose some, gain some, one door closes, another opens... blah blah. It is safe to say that I have probably lost the last remaining faith in these sayings. Today, I don’t know why, but for some reason, I woke up with the thread that I can and will have everything I want to and then some more. That I will not lose anything till I say it’s lost and that door will not close till I want it to close. I know, this probably sounds a bit arrogant, over-confident, overtly ideal etc. etc. etc. But you know what, I have been on both sides of that coin and I can assure you that no side is a place you want to be complacent in. You have to leave the coin to be able to see it shine! I don’t deny the concept of fate or the fact that everything happens for a reason. I am a staunch believer in that. But when it comes to dealings in your own life, whose hold do you want the reins to be in? Fate? Destiny? God? Or your own hands, heart, and brain?<br /><br />When we think about in terms of something that we can achieve, but would like to see how it goes, by letting it out there and allowing it to be molded in whichever manner, we need to understand that we have already lost it. To expect it to come back to us as how it was destined to be is sheer stupidity. The problem with us is... we don’t want to get the message - the message that we are responsible and totally at fault for whatever we do in life. If you are going to let something ‘happen’ to you, you are again at fault for believing that the happening will turn out the way you want it to. Instead of that, why not do it yourself in the first place? Why wait for that damn door to close before you wish for something else to open. I don’t recall Newton writing any 2nd, 3rd, or 4th law that goes anything like that. Are we so dumb enough to believe that some superior power put us all here so that we can eventually leave it all up to Him to decide for us? Just imagine what He must be going through!! Hope he's not cursing us for our incapacity to understand what He really made us for.<br /><br />It doesn’t come that easy, I know. There are people who leave everything to the world so that they don’t have to be responsible for what really happens to them (I personally know quite a few of that kind!). Either they are way too smart or just plain cowards. The problem with leaving everything to the world, as per what I have seen, is that you will have no other choice but to accept what comes back to you, whether you like it or not. And the truth is, most of the times you won’t. On the other hand if you take the reins, you know exactly what to expect, what you really want to do about it, where it is headed. Today I decided to have everything I want - <span style="font-style: italic;">in my life</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">from my life</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">of my life</span> – and then some. I know it will be difficult initially to get rid of the supposedly ‘altruistic’ attitude that we superficially apply. But I have realized that I exist because I am and that I can do, make, give, have, take and live ‘my’ life.<br />How about you?Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-26563832715091197842009-01-02T05:02:00.000-08:002009-01-09T06:28:11.593-08:00First ShotShe opened the front door to find his keys on the counter. "Oh, he's back", she said to herself. She laid her bags and keys on the counter next to his. She switched on the lights as she went inside the house. Her head was aching; she needed a glass of water. She opened the kitchen cabinet to get a glass and moved to the sink to fill it. These headaches were becoming a pain!<br /><br />Almost everyday for the past 9 months they had been more of her friend than he was. Maybe that was the real reason they were not speaking to each other. She turned to see the roses had wilted. Did she get roses this morning? Or were they daisies? She didn't remember. She didn't care. She moved to the stove to turn it on. "Maybe I'll make some tea today", she thought. Whoever said coffee was good for a headache, sure didn't have hers.<br /><br />Kettle on the stove, she opened the fridge to check what she could make for dinner. Asparagus! Not her favorite. She remember how he loved asparagus. "I should try to love him", she thought. "After all he does love me". She got the packet of asparagus out and started towards the sink to rinse them.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Don't you know that I love you more than anything?" she shouted.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"And don't you know that I don't love you anymore?" he blared. "Why are you still holding onto this? Why won't you let me go?"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Why should </span><span style="font-style: italic;">I </span><span style="font-style: italic;">let you go? You're free to do whatever you want, just as you've been doing all these months. And still you want </span><span style="font-style: italic;">me </span><span style="font-style: italic;">to let </span><span style="font-style: italic;">you </span><span style="font-style: italic;">go?" she said.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Come on Janie! As if you didn't drive me into all of this!"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"</span><span style="font-style: italic;">I </span><span style="font-style: italic;">drove you into all of this? Oh, how I wish I had!! We would be far more better off than where we are right now", she shouted.</span><br /><br />"No! I can't do this again!", she said to herself. This is how it started every time. The fights, then the name calling, then the trying to hit each other, then feeling utterly helpless, liked someone sapped the lights out of you. This had to stop.<br /><br />And the tea wasn't helping much. "Was I supposed to add sugar in this?", she asked herself. "Or did I and it still tastes the same old bitter self." She had decided she wouldn't love him anymore. Like saying I'll quit smoking. She thought she could do it. She was trying to do it. But it didn't feel the same anymore.<br /><br />These days it was more of a formal relationship they shared. He learned to keep to himself and she learned to sleep on the other side of the bed. Sometimes she didn't even realize he was home. But the keys on the counter made his presence known. Maybe she was in love with the keys more than him.<br /><br />"Oh, stop it Janie!" she shouted inside her. "You don't love him, remember? <span style="font-style: italic;">He's</span> the one that loves <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span>! Just be polite and get this day over with." She moved to the stove to stir the asparagus in the broth and add some salt. "Maybe I'll add some spaghetti to this today." She went over to the cabinet to get the spaghetti.<br /><br />"Honey, would you like spaghetti with this tonight?", she raised her voice to ask him. 5 minutes later and still no answer. "You sure are silent today", she thought. Then, she heard the shot! She rushed into the other room, from where she thought the sound came. Why was it so dark? Where are the switches when you need them? She finally found them and flicked the lights on.<br /><br />There he was, sitting on the couch, in front of the TV. He was wearing his brown shirt. He loved that shirt. Used to say it was the best thing she got him. "But why does he have ketchup all over him?", she thought. "And what was that black thing near his pocket?" And then she screamed!<br /><br />She didn't how long she screamed. She knew that that was the only thing she was capable of doing at the moment. How could he do this to her? He loved her! She stumbled towards the<br />phone. She had to call for help. She could still save him. Like smoking, she knew she couldn't quit on him. She called her mom. She would help. She worked at the hospital.<br /><br />"Mom? It's Janie. I need your help."<br /><br />"Who's this?"<br /><br />"Mom! It's me. Janie. I need you to come over. Something's happened to Keith. I was in the kitchen making dinner, when I heard....."<br /><br />"I'm sorry. But who is this? Is that you Shannon?"<br /><br />"MOM!! It's me! Janie!"<br /><br />"Janie? Am sorry dear, you must have the wrong number", said the sullen voice. "Janie died 9 months ago."<br /><br />And then she heard the shot again.Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-29272332867755163622008-12-23T05:29:00.001-08:002009-01-01T03:48:45.998-08:00PeoplenessI sit here to write something interesting, thought provoking, fruitful, a literary piece of art! (literally!) But all I am stuck with is some kind of 'people' block. Ya, you heard me right! Oh how I wish, it was writer's block. I could probably put some words together and drive it away. But this... this is beyond me. So before it gets the best of me and makes me mentally unstable (ya rite! like that's gonna happen anytime soon :) ) lemme just get it out with. <br /><br />I donno why, but lately I have been noticing people, a lot of people, and in almost every sense. When I was young, I was told it was impolite to stare. But in those odd events of someone staring at me, I stared back too. Maybe I was just trying to figure out what they were really staring at, and this scared the hell out of them, much to my pleasure. Of course, I try to avoid doing that now :) lest I wanna get beat up by them! But lately, some instances of bestowed wisdom has led me to politely 'look' and take a few notes of people around me. Even strangers for that matter. And after a few weeks of profound people looking... I am proud to say that I have made some amazing discoveries and found out answers to the questions I have long asked myself, the first of which is - Why are people the way they are?<br /><br />I know its kinda rude to say this, but say I must - everyone (including you & me) is as smart or dumb as the other person. Just that sometimes there are exceptions to the degree of these qualities, with some possessing more of a thing than they require ;) I can safely say that I have come across an incredible collection of people - the smarty-panters, prouders, milders, walk-on-ers, irritaters, genuiners, fakers, lazers, inquisitors, butt-ers (pardon my French! :-D), dumb ass-ers, jokers, sincere-ers, eternal charmers, intelligenters, selfishers, cowarders and downright insaners! I know, I know, I am probably being disrespectful to people... by calling them the wrong names :) But I'm actually glad that I did this small exercise of mine, just out of curiosity and have found out something invaluable. Remember the question I asked earlier? Ya, you could probably trace the lineage of the dog on the street much faster than find the answer to that question:) <br /><br /><br />So why are people the way they are?? Cause they have nothing better to do than be that. You know, people are truly not what they make themselves out to be. You might ask - "You found that out now???" Ya well, sorry, I was a little slow on the uptake. Another thing that I found out was, how other people are fooled into thinking that someone is such and such when I can clearly see for what they really are, or even why they are what they are? No, no, I don't possess any special powers, but I think I can pride myself in possessing a pure heart, which might be the reason why I can see into people, or so I think :) The thing that really pisses me off is the audacity that such kind of people have to tell you that you are wrong and they are right. I used to get majorly pissed off in my initial days of meeting such people. An incident like this would ruin my whole day and keep me enraged. But now, I just let them think that they are right. I know better!<br /><br />I used to think that being something other than what you really are is a bad thing to do. But lately, I have found that that is the only thing you can do, if you want to keep your identity (and sanity). I have always believed, that there is nothing in this world that someone cannot do. And this is one of them. There is no reason why you should not be yourself. But when putting your identity, your values, the things you hold sacred, on the sacrificial line, I would think that saving those are better than saving yourself. It may sound totally unethical and selfish (after all I am all for selfishness :)), but with people such as the ones I mentioned above, there is absolutely no way that you are going to be able to present the real you. So why bother? And for that matter, why even bother about them? They are probably doing the same thing to you.<br /><br />If you feel that at least in knowing the people who really matter to us, we must invest that extra time and effort to find out who they are really are, rather than just believing what they portray, then maybe it makes sense. But the point here is how far are you willing to believe them and anyone for that matter. Especially those downright insaner types. How far are you willing to invest on them to really know them? And do you really want to?<br /><br />Maybe this might be close to what I am trying to convey - "Know what I pray for? The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't and the incapacity to tell the difference." In case you're wondering, this comes from a 6-year old kid in a popular comic strip. Pretty neat, huh?Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-35202044806820605052008-12-07T09:58:00.001-08:002008-12-08T04:37:07.731-08:00Selfishly Yours!<div>The other day, I was vagabonding on the net, trying to see if there was something that would interest me. I donno why, but the internet has never appealed to me. Sorry, but that's the truth. I know that this might make some people extremely angry (I can already think of a few names), but somehow I have never really been 'hooked' to the net as some people are. Yes, sometimes of course, it has been amazingly a convenient medium, helpful (those bills would have been a real pain, if I had to stand in a queue to pay them), has given me things I needed and wanted (like my songs/videos/blogs). But if there was something I could do without in my life, it might very well be the internet.<br /><br />But the net is not what I want to talk about right now. As I was vagabonding, I discovered a site to download music (yippee, another one bites the dust!) and found some songs that I had long forgotten. Of course I downloaded them, just for old times sake. As I listened to them, believe me, I felt like I was reliving everything that happened at the time these songs were out. It's amazing how music can transport us to long forgotten times and places, and bring back memories we never knew we stored in that fuzzy brain of ours. And in that playlist, up comes this song - "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself". I'm sure that some of you might remember the song - it also features in the soundtrack for the movie - My Best Friend's<br />Wedding. For those who don't know the song, here's a snippet. It's about a lady singing that she doesn't know what to do with herself, now that her love has gone in search of another and that she's always made plans for two, and nothing seems good anymore, and that she will be waiting if he ever decides to come back. Phew!<br /><br />At one point in time, I actually liked this song. I felt that the lyrics were soulful, it evoked the empathy/sympathy that one needs to shower at someone feeling so down... it kinda sense. But now as I sit listening to it, for probably the 5th time since I downloaded it, I don't know why, it just doesn't make sense anymore! And that kinda surprises me. I thought it would always make sense. Guess I was wrong! Maybe things just changed for me to think that it would always make sense. From thinking that it was justified, I am now of the opinion that people can be really dumb!.... errr..... in love :) I mean who in their right mind would say -<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Baby if your new love, ever lets you down, come back, I will be around, just waiting for you."</span>Yes, I do understand that this is someone who is very desperate and really does not know what to do with themselves. Maybe they should get a haircut! But seriously, does someone say that in today's times? Yes, again, I do understand and realize that some ppl mite :) Maybe they didn't try the haircut after all ;)<br /><br />Anyways, the more I listened to it, the more the song began to irritate me, and I realized that I was not that person anymore who could find justification in that song. And you know what? I was OK with that! Personally, I am not a 'change' person. I don't like change, routine is my best friend :) But lately I have understood, that what I detested... has actually become my ally now. Change is my new best friend. And you know why? Because I decided to be selfish! Yes... you heard me right... selfish. Yup! That's the new me. And that is exactly why the song does not make sense to me anymore. Because if the lady was clever (read selfish) enough to understand what was going on, she would have left the idiot long before he left her. And she would have better things to do in life than sit and brood and sing that dumb song. That is precisely why I decided to turn selfish (now... don't jump to conclusions. No one left me :) ). Because I have better things to do in 'my life'. Because it is my life, and no one else's. No one is gonna come and tell me what to do, how and when to do it, why to do it. So why bother waiting or thinking they should? Why not take charge of something only you can make happen. Ya ya... being selfish is not something that our proud parents taught us about, and I am glad they<br />didn't. I figured this out all by myself. <span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />"You don't get things unless you make them happen,</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">things don't happen unless you want them to, and you won't want them to unless you think</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">about yourself sometimes!</span>"<br /><br />Try it. Believe me, it works!!</div>Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-74930960044868619762008-12-04T04:07:00.000-08:002008-12-04T04:51:17.268-08:00Responsible LivesYesterday I was speaking, rather chatting, with one of my friends from college. It always makes me feel good when I connect to people who ‘were’ in my life and I strive to keep them alive :) every now and then. The initial Hellos, Whatcha been doing and Hows life, led to more conversant, interesting and somewhat serious topics. The prevailing insecure life in our country (Right! Tell me something I don’t know!), how unsafe our lives are, how terribly frightened we are and should be! How selfish and money minded the politicos are (is there anyone who doesn’t already know that?), how things will never improve, how everyone will die a sad and sorry death someday. You really think we are all going to be dancing in glee when the D-day (death day) comes. Man! With all this prevailing insecurity and unhappiness, don’t you wish we would?<br /><br />And like I do most of the times, I tried to get to the bottom of why he was being so pessimistic. I mean, ‘I’ am pessimistic, so I know how that works! Whenever something is important to me I try to expect the worse that can happen, and then some more. That keeps me busy while the thing turns out to be quite alright, which on the other hand, had I given it its due importance, would have turned out to be a complete mess. Now, I know that reverse psychology is not everyone’s cup of tea. But it's pretty amazing when you want to get something done that you thought was nearly impossible.<br /><br />So why and what am I blabbering? I am not for or against the politicos, the environment, the people who want to save dams or the forests or melting glaciers, the people who want to put a bullet through your head for seemingly no reason, the builder who wants you to vacate so that he can build a 20 storey building, the boss who never said a kind word to you, or the one who showers you unwanted attention all the time. I read somewhere – “If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don't care nothing matters so you are never upset.” A part of me would say… "Whoa!!! That about sums it all up!" Another part of me says – "How can you not care about something in life, are you not human?" Well, with all the seemingly wonderful things happening in the world, let alone the country, you might want to rethink that.<br /><br />As I was chatting with my friend, I realized that it is not about the blame game anymore. It is about the incapacity of people to realize that things are not the same anymore. If we know that politicians are not going to get the job done, why do ‘we’ put them up there? If we know that the secure lives that we are dreaming about, is not all that secure after all, what are ‘we’ doing about it? We want everyone else to take responsibility about what has happened/will happen. When will we take responsibility of our lives? Why is it that we fall into this trap all the time? Are we hoping that our fall each time will be different, better than the earlier one? There was a time when we could care less; we still do. But the fact remains that even that is not making a difference. So the real question is – what will?Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-11317897946891830672008-11-29T10:57:00.000-08:002008-11-29T11:04:44.822-08:00Inertia<em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">She looked up to say,<br />I won't be coming no more this way,<br />I have been here all I can,<br />And there is only so much that I can plan,<br /><br />He looked across to see,<br />All the dust, the grime, the sentimentality,<br />Should I wrap myself in this haven?<br />Or satisfy the lust of life I have craven,<br /><br />She looked beneath to find,<br />All the pieces strewn in her mind,<br />Together they made up some memories,<br />Of all the love, the pain, the atrocities,<br /><br />He looked far to feel,<br />To ease his heart out of the golden seal,<br />Inside it fluttered, strong and able,<br />Outside it mustered, dark and sable,<br /><br />She wondered why, when, where,<br />She lost her soul, her will to care,<br />He longed for the time,<br />A little more still, eternity to find,<br /><br />Together they stared,<br />Haplessly, beyond compare,<br />Was this all there was to be?<br />Nothing more, nothing less, nothing in between?<br /><br />If tomorrow never came,<br />Are we to die in shame,<br />Of knowing not who or what we are,<br />To live a life that heals the wound, but never the scar.<br /></span></em>Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-23754324234068580562008-11-26T06:52:00.000-08:002008-11-26T08:40:48.087-08:00Riding EscapadesWell, after all the lengthy and quite thought-provoking (I hope!) writings over the past few articles, guess its time for some light and funky ones (someone quite rightfully reminded me of that :)) So, lets see – <em>light</em> and <em>funky</em>….. "light" <em>and</em> funky, light and “funky”. The only thing that I know is light and funky is the cute looking lamp in my bedroom – "light" and “funky”. Sorry, I know, that was a bad joke! Aaaah!!! I know! I can always write something from my bike-riding escapades. Not exactly light (if you count me mouthing some heavy expletives :-D) but funky and funny indeed sometimes .<br /><br />Ok... so.... which one of these 214 stories would make an impact? Story 49? No, that’s not funky, that’s not even funny. 186? Nah! That guy was not all that indecent. 125? Well, that could be light and funky except for the fact that I almost lost a toe when the idiot standing next to me stomped his feet on mine while stopping at the signal. Ouch! Hmm… well, now that I think of it, I don’t think just one story should qualify as being light and funky. Maybe an assortment will do… the more the merrier, right? So here are some random occurances from a journey that might enlighten and enliven you… the journey I take everyday to and from office plus a few other places on the run.<br /><br />Now, the ride to office has been quiet an interesting one over the past couple of months. Earlier I used to travel about 10 kms to a god-forsaken place, that later didn't seem so god-forsaken after all :) Now, I have to travel even further, another 5 kms to another god-forsaken place, which I know not when will get promoted into a non-god-forsaken place. I think I would be quite happy with it being god-forsaken, if only it was also human and traffic-forsaken. Oh my! You should see the amount of traffic and the sea of people that I have to literally cross every day to get to work. And it is not funny at all!! Especially when the travel is some 15-odd kms each way, it gets less funny every day.<br /><br />When I'm riding and being a mute passenger, I always have this thing about people who navigate through any kind of traffic. You know bikers who think they can literally squeeze into 4 inches of space with the shiniest and largest bike ever, a wife and 3 kids on board. I almost burst out laughing every time I see someone like this. In fact, I encourage them (not out load) to keep on, till they find the right spot! :-D Another area of interest to me is to see fellow women-riders. Not just how they drive/ride, but how they even can! Now, I know this is a sensitive subject, but lets face it. Women are not good riders/drivers. If you thought I would say within brackets – 'except me', sorry! I don’t like to go easy on myself, and I know my flaws (and goodness-es). The thing that 'we' lack is effective judgment skills and compensate for that with too much brains! How many times have you seen a lady rider/driver drive like her whole life depended on it? Many right? I can say for sure that she would definitely not consider driving a pleasure. And she will not hesitate to honk, even when she knows that she is the only one driving on the road. “What?!! That rat crossing the road doesn't know I’m coming!!!” I personally have had some minor incidents of almost ramming into the behind of a car or bus (!) just to stop in the nick of time. The reason? Poor judgment skills of not knowing how hard or fast to brake. With (of course!) the counter effect of me shouting (never out loud) expletives at the car or bus for having stopped sooner than I ‘thought’ it would. Typical, ain’t it? But I am happy to inform you that after almost a year of riding, my skills have definitely shown improvement, quite to the point that I don’t brake at all these days! Ha, ha!<br /><br />The last time I laughed my wits out was when I saw a considerably new car parked right in the middle of the road. Now, this road divides itself into 2 main sections on the sole basis of a convenient ‘here-I-am, there-am-not’ divider. I always make sure that I navigate to one side of the road as soon as I enter it, so that I can spare myself a whole lot of confusion. So, one night I am driving home late from office, and I enter this road. A few meters down, I know there should come the start of the divider, but instead I see this car standing. I mean, from behind it just looks like its standing there, innocently, like it forgot which part of the road it was supposed to be on. Quite possible! I slowed down for it to move, turn, back-up… it didn’t. By the time I approached it, I kinda knew something was not quite right about the way it was parked. Who would park in the middle of the road, in (almost) the middle of the night? Are you crazy? Or do you think others are... to not notice it? By now, I am almost passing it by… and what do I see?? It has banged right into the start of the divider and is so smashed up that you actually can’t make out the front portion of the car. Now, that is a sorry sight indeed, but I found myself laughing so hard that I was afraid I would fall off my bike. Right from that spot to my house, which is about 5 mins, I laughed and laughed and laughed!! Who in their right frame of mind would miss a divider that is almost 3-4 feet tall? It stands there like a bull on the road. I understand that if you are blind or blinded by other things (if you know what I mean) it is quite possible. But even then, it is totally amazing that one should ram right into it without making an effort to try and avoid it. Sheesh!<br /><br />And oh! Don’t even get me started on the honkers! Yes… the impeccable category of people who know just about what to do with a vehicle other than drive. They can sure honk your wits out! Well, I guess I'll reserve that for ‘light and funky' – Part 2 or 3 or 4 :)Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-24350939680866066012008-11-19T08:21:00.000-08:002008-11-19T21:14:26.556-08:00To be (free) or not to be!I don't watch TV. Not because I don't like watching it, or that I don't get the time, or that I have better things to do. I just don't watch it. There was, a time when nothing could separate us - the TV, and me that is! I knew every show, on every channel, every time slot, every re-run that ever re-ran, every actor (their real and reel names), every soundtrack of every movie and TV series (my favorite is the soundtrack from the BBC series - Pride and Prejudice :) ; those who have seen it/know it, might agree), every character, every storyline, etc. etc. etc. This was way too long ago. It's amazing how school and college seem like the time when you could do all you wanted and still have time for more. You need to finish that assignment for your History project tomorrow? No problem, it'll get done before dinner, and you can still watch Dr. Doogie Howser M.D. Need to help your kid brother with a math problem, no sweat. You can do it in-between the commercials for the X-Files :)<br /><br />Those were the 'real' times. When watching TV was not such a bad thing after all. I would totally credit my fluency in the English language and the ability to understand different accents to watching so much of Star Movies, and some of the English channels that don't exist anymore. Now, the point that I am coming to is not whether we are free to watch TV or not! Hey, just because I don't watch it anymore, doesn't mean you don't have to either ;) You are free to do whatever you want. Or are you?<br /><br />Extraordinarily, one night I find myself switching on the telly while having dinner. Maybe I just wanted to catch up on whether a person who was supposed to die in a serial 5 years back was dead or had been re-born for the 8th time :-D So, there I was, trying to make sense of all the moving 'news' and up comes a commercial. Now, I like commercials. They are more informative than probably all the "theory of relativities" put together. Snippets, that are to the point, no frills, decent (most of the times at least!), educative (a lot of them are), and most of all - fun! At the end of a commercial, a good one, you are left with a feeling that what you just saw, might actually be useful to you. Plus, they are a logical break from the guy who was supposed to get a heart transplant episodes earlier, or has been in a coma, for God knows how long! Now, the commercial that came up was a good one, a very educative one at that. It was about contraceptives.<br /><br />Without giving away the name of the product, it was about emergency contraception for women. This is not a run-of-the-mill ad. Far from it! A sensitive subject such as emergency contraception can never be run-of-the-mill :) For those who do watch a lot of TV, you might be aware of different variations of the portrayal of the product, the need as well as the benefits of emergency contraception. I happened to see 2 variations. One where the friend literally demands for the 'time' and shouts (nay, advises) that the girl may have to go through abortion; and the 2nd where the friend and the girl are traveling to a family planning/abortion clinic (this was the one that came up when I was sitting down for dinner that night). And as this ad came up, I immediately found myself paying attention, and connecting it to the first version. I must say, I didn't like the shouting friend. I know she meant well, but she didn't have to be so rude.<br /><br />The 2nd variation, I felt, was more subtle, with actions and emotions and faces speaking louder than words ever can. As I sat there for the rest of the dinner, I hardly remember what I saw on TV next, cause my brain was already working overtime trying to analyze both these commercials. Somehow, in the 2nd ad, what struck me was the helplessness of the girl who has to make 'the decision'. And, the way in which she is looking at the friend for an answer, a solution, something. I started thinking... the ad clearly provides women the 'choice', but does it provide them freedom to exercise it? A woman has the choice to go in for emergency contraception. That is what the ad is talking about... and of course, they are trying to sell the product, right? But, how many women will use/have used it? 1 in 5, 10, 30, 50, 100, 1000? After all, you might argue, that this is not like some bathing soap that people need to use everyday. True. Absolutely correct! But, for those women who need it, are they 'free' to exercise only their choice, and not their freedom?<br /><br />In today's day and age, we hear of women reaching heights like never before, shoulder to shoulder with men, even beyond! Scientist, astronauts, philanthropists, industrialists, geniuses even! Women are doing things we never thought possible 2 decades back. Then why is it that the ad portrayed the girl with her looking all lost, and seeking for 'help'? If women have reached the sky, why is it that the girl did not know about emergency contraception beforehand? Or even if she missed out on that education, why is it that she is all 'scared and afraid' when she has to make another choice, quite possibly, the right one! Was it because the company was trying to gain the viewer/public sympathy for the young girl who might lose out on her life because of this incident, and thereby gaining acceptance for emergency contraception and their product? Was the ad trying to tell people (read women) that things could be set right by taking the product, and that otherwise unavoidable circumstances, can now be avoided? I don't have anything against the makers of the ad or the product. Its decent and they are just trying to make a living. But, are we listening to what is really being said?<br /><br />How come there is no ad that says, that as much of a choice you have for taking emergency contraception, you also do for undergoing abortion? Why is it that the former is acceptable (even skeptically), but the latter is not? Why should a woman hold her head high and take an emergency contraception, rather than do the same thing when walking into a clinic? Should she always turn to a friend, to tell her what to do? Have we as a society equipped her with only fear and helplessness when it comes to making decisions that can be life-changing? This piece doesn't even have to be about women. My trail of thoughts has only come from these 2 types of ads that I have seen till now, and the emotions and underlying meaning that it has evoked in me. Even if you take the case of children, have we given them 100 choices, but no freedom to exercise it? How many parents would let their kid turn into a rock-star, even though he was promised at the age of 10, that he could be 'whatever' he wanted to be? How many kids will paint pottery for the rest of their life. No siree! Not my kid! Isn't that what you thought to yourself? Which child would want to tell its parents that they want to be a doctor rather than join the family business of collecting garbage!<br /><br />So my question to you is - "Are you really free?" and more importantly "Do you want to be?"Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-14600348454241397932008-11-11T03:55:00.000-08:002008-11-11T21:58:48.414-08:00Know Thyself!I know it might sound cocky, selfish, arrogant, and whatever first person emotion you want to attach to it, but seriously tell me. When was the last time you praised yourself? Gave yourself a pat on the back, gave yourself a treat? Or are you still expecting the person who has never done that to come do it for you? Or do you think you deserve praise only from others and not from yourself? Oh! Grow up! You think the world is gonna shower itself on you for all the things you do? For all that you are? You are sadly mistaken. Maybe if what you do and who you are is a mountain instead of a molehill, you might be lucky enough to get noticed. Even then, it is a risk that would need to be pulled off very neatly. But for all the small things that you do, don’t even expect the risk to back you up. You are all by yourself, whether you like it or not. And don’t think that you are going to be raised on that pedestal; just wish that if you do, you are lucky enough to not get hurt too much when you fall off it.<br /><br />We all do things thinking that somewhere down the line, it will pay up and that we will get our dues worth. That is quite human, in fact more so when you have been taught to do good deeds without expecting any results. We are always looking for people’s approval, their take on our actions, if we were correct in doing something or not. Even when we know we have done something right, we need just that one nod or smile to put us at ease, that what we did, was the right thing to do. It is every child looking up to its parents for that candy it was promised, for eating its vegetables. Few get it, are happy with it, others get it, but keep yearning for more, like they are shopping coupons – the more you get, the more life gets ‘discounted’ for you, whereas the rest never gets it<br /><br />Now, I’m not sure which category to belong to. (If you do already belong to one… good for you.) And, what if I don’t want to belong to any of these and remain independent. You know like those independent parties contesting the elections, hoping for that one stroke of luck that they will win! What if I don’t need anyone’s approval other than my own? As a matter of fact, I don’t think I have ever belonged to any category at all. For as long as I can remember, I have been my own person. That is not to say that I have lived my life to however, and whatever I wished it to be. My! If only I had the guts to do that… I would surely be in a different world altogether – maybe for better, maybe for worse. My parents have done the best parenting ever, and they still are; that goes without a doubt. They have made me and my sister experience everything that an individual needs to experience – through our own mettle. I am proud to say that whatever I am in life today, is because I am born out of them. And nothing and nobody in this whole damn world can do anything to change that. They have never expected anything out of me, apart from what I am capable of giving. And it is this ‘capability’ that has given me the strength to take on anything… anyone.<br /><br />It might be foolish to say that I have never sought the approval of my parents. Of course I have! When I was a child, I would try to write as neatly as possible, in my best handwriting. My dad was a stickler in matters of handwriting. He used to make me and my sister do ‘handwriting practice’ at least for half of our summer vacations. But, when we were done with our writing, we never went to him, for him to take a look and tell us – “good job”. We knew that when he came to know about it (and that he always would) he would be proud and that was enough for us. Even if he would point out a flaw, there would always be a look on his face that would say, “You have done me proud”. Even today, when we achieve something, purely out of our own ‘capability’, we know that our parents are proud of us, without us even having to tell them anything.<br /><br />Is it because of the fact that I don’t yearn for their approval? Is it because I am too cocky to give them credit for it? Is it because I feel I am too good for myself to do any better? It might be any or all of these… in their own credible circumstances. But, I feel it is largely because I have looked at my own approval of what I am, before asking for anyone else’s. I know what I am, what I am capable of and so do my parents. They are a splendid extension of what I believe myself to be. I have always felt that you need to look at yourself from your own eyes, before you borrow someone else’s. And believe me, you won’t need to borrow anyone else’s, not even your parents’; it wouldn’t do you justice at all.Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-4362380728571090502008-11-05T02:36:00.000-08:002008-11-05T02:54:35.129-08:00Of Liberty, Equality and Faternity…You know, many a times I have often wondered what it would be like if we all went about our own business without looking, caring or bothering about what others do and how if really matters to us. At many instances, I have wished and pleaded within myself to have the strength to be able to do that, and for people to respect the same, as well as reciprocate with a similar attitude. I mean, it never really helps to butt yourself in when you’re absolutely not needed. I have lived in a city that embodies independence in its truest form and where working hard is just the beginning to working your ass off to be where you want to be :) I currently live in a city where people are smart, but would not want others to think so, least they are taken ‘advantage’ of, where independence is confined to your bathroom, and working hard is just a one-off thing. Now, I don’t want to get into a comparison of cities, their cultures and personalities. Guess it’ll make for good reading some other time. The crux that I want to get to is why is it, that no matter how much we want and value our freedom and liberty (as we call it), we are ready to sacrifice others’, by butting into theirs?<br /><br />I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, try to look at both sides of the coin, so that I don’t end up being prejudiced and narrow-minded (no, no, no… that will never be me.. I hope :) ) Recently, I came across someone I have known for sometime, cross that line of liberty that I had drawn so finely. In fact, after the incident, I didn’t know if it was I who is to be blamed or she. Because I didn’t know if she was wrong in taking liberty to cross that line, or if I was – to think that she couldn’t or wouldn’t. The incident is of least importance, but what has got my brain winding is the whole scenario of how people think they have the right to know why things are the way they are with you. Now, why is that? I can be mean and rude and say – “it’s none of your business”, which believe me, I have already said inside my head :). But, smart that my brain is, it doesn’t let the truth come out of my mouth and instead makes me smile and give some lame reason or excuse for me being the way I am. Crap!<br /><br />Freedom is not something you have to choose from, be sorry for or wish you had it, but don’t want it :). It is not even your birth right (now all you patriots, please don’t kill me!), it is just who you are! Although in this day and age, it is often other people who decide the exact date and time for you to come into the world and etc., etc. But you know what the funny thing is? I feel there is no such thing as freedom, liberty, equality, brotherhood and all those concepts that are upheld for their altruistic values. All there is – is selfishness. I know, I know, I may get beat up for this, but think about it. Aren’t we all just a tad selfish in whatever we do? Take the incident I was talking about earlier. The person who thought she had a right to know why I am the way I am, wanted to find out something about me. Something that would make her feel superior to me, because she is obviously not what I am. That made her selfish. What made me selfish? The fact that I thought that only I had the right to know what I truly am, and no one else is entitled to that privacy. We are all selfish in whatever we do. Even the most saintly of all saints is selfish. He wants to attain something no one else can, and I am pretty sure that he won’t like it if everyone got it :) But then again, selfishness is also taking care of only your business, and not being a pain in someone else’s. So the next time you find someone being a pain, or if you yourself are one, try being selfish. Who knows… you might just understand what it is to be free!Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8760552606571348656.post-5352950435139460462008-11-04T04:52:00.000-08:002008-11-04T22:37:37.963-08:00Of all the things we thought we would do...Sometimes you have all the time in the world and you don’t know what to do with it. Other times you have everything to do in the world and no time to do it. Currently, I am in the former phase. I loved it – for a whole of 2 days! Now that it’s been 12, I am beginning to wonder if there ever was a phase when I didn’t have time to breathe. Believe me, there was! These days I sit and wonder (wow... that’s hard to come by :) ) what if we had all the time in the world, and we could do anything and everything that we wanted to, would we? If there was nothing beyond us, and nothing we could not achieve, could we?<br /><br />Would we really do something about that broken chair, that has been broken for the past 6 months, and we thought we would fix 2 months back? Would we clean out that drawer that we know houses everything other than that one pin we need? Would we climb to the top of the tallest building in our locality and scream at the top of our lungs – “I love you ____”? Would we ever be able to accept the fact that we are as good as we can possibly get and maybe a little more? Would we walk barefoot on the grass in the park, just because we wanted to? You know, many of these things are not dependent on the time or the possibility of the event. It is just us who has to put our head together to get it done. I have a clock on my nightstand that ran out of battery – 3 months back. Almost every morning when I get up and see the clock, it dutifully displays the same time – 0535 hrs. Now, I wish I could tune my body to get up at this time, and make the life of the non-batteried (am not sure if that is even a word, but it sounds kinda cool) clock a little worthwhile. But as that doesn’t seem to be happening in the very near future, I might as well settle to buy some batteries and tune the clock to when I do actually get up! (If I kinda lost you there, I totally understand. :) ) But somehow, even that doesn’t seem to happening. Because if it did, it would have happened 3 months back… and I wouldn’t be writing this piece in the first place!<br /><br />Procrastination is what they call it. I call it pure laziness :) (Never been a fan of big words.) But then that is too hard for us to admit, right? We?? Lazy?? No ways!! We watch TV, we sit around all day, we ride our bikes and cars, we go up to the 25th floor – in the lift!, we get our vitamins – from our 4th mug of beer. Do you know how stressful these things can get? And to do them over and over again - everyday! We need to go to a salon to de-stress. Lazy?? How can you even say that?? Of course we got the work done… when the 5th and final reminder came, of course we fixed the chair – when we sat on it without remembering it was broken and fell on our ass, and of course I changed the batteries on my nightstand clock…... I think!Preethihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14799446195007865105noreply@blogger.com0