What is the difference between lying and not telling the truth? I used to think that both are the same, but I recently found out that they are not. Lying involves masking the truth by saying something that isn't true or is relatively close but not completely. Not telling the truth can be as simple as keeping mum or spinning a story totally out of context, one that is nowhere near the truth. Am I correct in my understanding? Maybe, Maybe not. As much as I would like to get to the bottom of this, somehow it seems like a never ending well. I am not very good at lying and at not telling the truth. Anything and everything I feel inside usually comes out through my face. Now some might say this is good… me being a true soul and all ;) But more often than not this has always acted to my detriment. And this recent situation was no different. I found myself ‘lying’ for apparently no reason at all. I could have told the truth, but something inside me told me to deny it… to mask it… to not let it come out !! I seriously donno why I did that… but there was so many voices inside me that collectively all I could hear was ‘don’t let the truth come out’.
I don’t think lying is a crime or a sin or anything wrongful. Yes, it is something we should avoid and restrain ourselves from doing because it is not very often that we feel good about it. But, yes, sometimes we do have to lie – for ourselves, for others, to set things right, to make someone feel better. So do these situations qualify as situations for not telling the truth? Should we hold a husband's response of "Of course not, honey!" to his wife's "Do I look fat in this dress?" as lying? I donno. The demarcation is still so vague and immeasurable that it kind of makes me feel very uncomfortable. There was a time when I never used to lie… never! Somehow that time doesn’t exist anymore… that same me doesn’t exist anymore. That doesn’t mean that I lie to make my world fall in place, but the fact that I even do is something out of the ordinary.
When I think about all the situations where I could have done something about not telling the truth or having lied, I do feel a tinge of disappointment, at myself, for having resorted to something I never thought I would. But I have realized that the world is not what it used to be. And we cannot be what we planned out to, unless we care a damn about any and every one who stands to correct us. I would gladly do that (care a damn, I mean), but I feel that before I do, I should rest my ass on firm ground so that even if I have to fall back, I have something to fall onto, instead of the never ending hole of losing oneself.
Gibberish? Yes :) I don’t lie to myself to make me feel better ;)